One more time
by MidnightAmythest
Summary: Grief spread through out the world over Lovino's death. But Gilbert is the one who is hit the hardest. Will he make it? {{May make you cry. Slight Prumano.}}


**Hey. **

**Here's a story for you.**

**It won't be continued in another chapter.**

_{{One more time, one more time!}}_

The words bounced back and fourth in Gilbert's mind. _HOW? Why... Who... ... No... it couldn't..._ He thought, over and over, both things rushing past, those two things being the only thing he could think of at the moment. He pushed back the tears that forced their way out of his eyes. He didn't want to show any weakness, but this was killing him inside. The only one who understood him, the only one who truely did care for him, and he cared for back, had died. Only 5 hours previously.

_I'm such an ass for not protecting Lovino.._

The words stung himself as he thought of them. Guilt pang and ran through him. It was his fault Lovino had passed. All his fault. He could've saved his life, but no, instead he just had to go home...

Gilbert sniffled, and looked up at Feliciano and Antonio. He swallowed, which he found difficult to swallow down the guilt.

"... I'm... g-going home.." He croaked out silently, and stood up. His foot steps were rather airy, and barely made a sound. Or at least to Gilbert they didn't.

Murmurs shook through out the room once Gilbert had left it, curious questions passed from nation to nation. All knew what had happened, but didn't know it'd hit the ex-nation the hardest.

After all, they don't know a thing about Gilbert.

A true thing, that is.

Gilbert bit on his pale lip hard, whimpering down the tears that still battled him to exit his already puffy crimson eyes. His thoughts seemed to be calmer now, not filled with pain, worry, hurt, guilt, and lost for the loved one. The one he gave all his heart and soul to. Yet he forgot to protect it, and now his heart and soul was gone with Lovino. He shuffled down the hall, nearing the door.

As Gilbert was leaving home, to sulk and just stay there for the rest of his life, Alfred came after him.

"Dude, wait! Please listen to me.." Alfred called out to the albino, but Gilbert only ignored him and kept going.

Alfred's hand grasped onto his arm gently. Gilbert stopped walking, and looked back at Alfred with the saddest expression on his eyes and the most depression tinge of such loneliness and regret in his red eyes. It seemed as if he became Death himself, unable to have a soul and feel happiness ever again.

"... Just.. listen, okay?" He said gently, wanting Gilbert to understand his words. He knew how this was effecting him, it had happened before with Fritz, but this time it was way worse.

"Fine.." He whispered faintly, the words barely being able to heard.

"... I know Lovino may have died but... it doesn't mean he's gone forever..." Alfred explained, wanting Gilbert to just understand exactly what he meant.

Gilbert gave no answer, and Alfred heeded fourth.

"...Don't think you'll never see Lovino again... just look up... he's always there... there's still the light, Gilbert... He hasn't left us..."

"... It breaks my heart how quickly someone dies... Why cant they live a few more hours..? To live out their life and end it the way they want it..." Gilbert said, completely off topic. The way his words were put and the way his voice sounded, filled with so much nothing. It was clearly not the same Gilbert everyone knew. He was someone else.

"..There is no light anymore. Lovino is gone, forever. I couldn't save him from Death. I let him die... " Gilbert added, his voice drifting off and becoming quieter by each word. His voice slightly quivered, as if he were about to cry.

Tears of agony, dear agony, rolled down Gilbert's colorless face, and splashed onto the floor with no sound. Alfred felt even worse now.

".. It's not your fault.. you didn't know he was going to die.." Alfred reminded him, and a feeling inside of him told him that maybe he shouldn't have said that.

"I could've saved him... If I had walked with him at least before he went.. or died with him... " Slowly, Gilbert pulled his arm from his grasp. "...Thanks for the help... b-but.. I don't need it..."

Gilbert turned around, walking to the exit of the meeting hall and out into the pouring rain of the gray evening. The feel outside fit the way Gilbert felt, only once he stepped outside, it seemed as if all color from the world was gone. Only monochrome remained.

His walk was the longest, most totured filled walk he had ever had in his entire life. His entire body felt like lead, and walking became such a pain in the ass. The entire time of the torture, Gilbert thought of all the ways to die.

_Hang myself, poison, slit my throat..._

The list never ceased.

Once he had finally made it to his house, he unlocked and opened the door, his soaking wet body frigid cold and the water dripped from his clothes and hair. They made small puddles of water on the floor, and Gilbert didn't care. But once Lud came over, if Gilbert was even alive then, Gilbert would get a good telling to.

But he didn't care. He couldn't stand talking to anyone or listening to anyone anymore. His life had no more meaning. No point to be alive. His point and his entire life was now gone, and now there was nothing for him to do in life anymore.

He shuffled quietly to the living room, where he sat on the couch. Tears still hadn't stopped falling from his face, and now they dropped onto his lap. He stayed still, crying silently, hoping for a calming hand, a warm embrace, and gentle words to tell him it was okay.

He hoped for those things to come, but he then remembered:

**They aren't here anymore.**

His mind slowly drifted back to suicide. There were many ways, but he decided the probably most unusual.

Rolling down a large hill.

Hopefully, during his roll, he'd break his neck, ending in fatality. **Certain death.**

He now longed to feel Death's embrace, feel his cold bony fingers on his neck, and slowly take out his soul, his life, his everything. Make him die, right then and there.

Once that happened, no one would have to worry about Gilbert Beilschmidt anymore. He'd no longer be a pain in the ass to everyone, annoying everyone to their ends.

It would and shall be the end of ex-nation Prussia.

Isn't that what everyone wanted?

Gilbert felt himself stand up, thinking of nothing but the feel of quickly dying, and leaving the world without a trace. He lead himself to the highest hill he knew, and his journey was fast, considering the fact he ran.

Never once was he so excited to die.

He climbed up the hill, falling ever-so often, and slipping in the slippery mud and grass. Once he reached the top, and freezing breeze greeted him. Goosebumps already lined his blank skin, and his teeth clattered, making him sound like a pile of bones shaking. The thought of that made him even more determined.

He held his breath for a moment, stepped back 7 paces, and sprang forward. He started rolling violently down the hill, pain ebbing him in every possibly nerve in his body. He winced in extreme pain, the cracking of bones he didn't know filled his ears. He couldn't see; everything was going so quick.

These feelings had lasted nearly an enternity.

Finally, the spinning stopped, and his body stopped his little fun with gravity at the bottom of the hill. He was disappointed, and frustrated that he didn't die. He didn't succeed. Truely, he was more of a failure now.

He slowly lifted himself off the ground weakly with his arms. They didn't break, surprisingly enough. He had nearly broke his neck, nearly... He was so close, yet so far...

He looked around, his vision blurry as hell. His breathing was shallow and deep. His arms gave out, and he layed in the mud, defeat gripping him there.

Lovino's spirite had been watch him, his every move since he became spirite. He knew Gilbert was unable to handle. Lovino sat down on the ground, feeling nothing as his bottom touched the wet earth.

"..Why did you do that...?" Lovino asked, looking at Gilbert with hurt in his eyes, wondering why he had done this. He didn't deserve this pain...

Instantly, Gilbert turned his head to Lovino's direction. "...I need to die... No one needs me... I am useless... With you gone, there's no point.."

Lovino's heart immediately broke at those words. He couldn't believe Gilbert was saying these words to him. He wanted to slap some sense into him, by slapping him of course, but he was unable to.

"Gilbert! Don't ever say that! You deserve to live! Think for your brother... Antonio.. France... everyone, really. They all need you! Sure you're annoying as fuck but still!"

Gilbert sighed deeply.

"... Nein.. they don't..."

"... They do... just think about what it'd be like to them without you there.." And with that said, Lovino faded into the growing darkness of the night that started to fall.

Gilbert slowly arose him his spot and started limping on home.

Once he arrived, Ludwig was waiting for him, but his expression was an expression Gilbert never saw on Ludwig's face.

Silence grew between the two.

Gilbert simply walked past Ludwig, and walked upstairs. Ludwig started to follow him. "..Bruder... don't do it.." He said in his normal tone, but it was clear he was having a hard time keeping it that way.

"... Why not?"

"...I need you..."

"What good do I do for this world?"

"..."

"Exactly! Now leave me the hell alone..." He hissed at Lud, and walked quickly into his room. He sat on the bed, and looked around the room. The pain of being alive was started to annoy him. He needed to end it, weather the entire world was here or not. He looked under his bed, and luckily his hand gun was still there. Taking it in his hand, he examined the gun.

It was just a plain old normal gun...

But the gun he will use to commit suicide.

He steadied his breath for a bit, and slowly put the gun up to his head.

_I have to... To be with Lovino again... to escape this hell... without a worry in the world, I'll be free._

Gilbert smiled at his own thought, and put the gun down.

He stood up, grabbed a pen, and a piece of a paper. He wrote down his last words:

_Dear anyone who reads this,_

_I have decided to end the misery that had started only a few hours ago._

_I cannot bear it, and I never will be able to. _

_I am sorry for leaving, but it is a must. I am not needed, or beneficial._

_With me gone, I hope you all will feel much better._

_I'm also doing this to be with Lovino again, for I miss him so much..._

_I'm sorry everyone. _

_**Ich liebe dich...**_

_**Lebewohl,**_

_**~Gilbert Beilchmidt.**_

Gilbert gently folded up the paper, and set it beside him. He picked up the gun next to him as well, and raised it to his head. _No longer will I feel the guilt, the greif, the sorrow and the pain. From now on, I am free._

_Free as the skies above,_

_and as carefree as the wind._

_For I am, no more._

The last sound heard from Gilbert, and the last sound he heard, was the gun shot. The last feeling was the piercing of his brain, and once everything went black, he knew he had done it. He had won the battle.

Ludwig rushed into the room, to see his dead brother laying on the bed. He walked forward, and read the note next to his lifeless face.

A look of complete horror was placed upon his face. He glanced at the lifeless corpse, and decided to say his goodbye.

"Lebewohl, bruder..."

He used his index finger to gently close his eye lids, making him seem as if he were sleeping peacefully.

A few sorrowful days passed and Lovino and Gilbert's corpse had been put to rest. A sorrowful aura was fogging up every day that passed. No one seemed enthusiastic anymore.

All life ceased to exsist.

**One life lost is another and another.**

**Keep going on in life, no matter how bleak. Keep shooting high, and maybe you'll reach those you miss.**

**There's still light in every darkness, in every blackened out room you find yourself trapped in. Reach for it. **

**Don't go.**

**Don't leave everyone behind.**


End file.
